An Undecided Path...

Has been some time since i'd update my blog... Main reason..? Nothing to write...what else can you do where else your life was just around eat , sleep , work , eat , sleep , work? Ya.. What A Life..
I've started to return back to a life where i never wanted to be... It's too hectic , and it's not the path i wanted... but ya... i really don't deserve to choose...
For the past few weeks , i had went out to socialise with my friends everyday... Ya i mean everyday... That is when i realise something... Some particular friends started teasing me that I'm not a friend to them anymore when i mix with another 'group' of friend of mines... I just want to tell them.. IN THIS WORLD , i do not have the few of you only as my friend... i respected and everytime u guys would call me to go out , i would follow.. but if u didnt , why NOT i went and get with my other friends? This world was so weird... God created man equally , got eyes , got nose , got mouth , got hand , got legs , but DIFFERENT thinking...
A means A , B means B , they follow what they need and want , and never think of the part of any other else...
I was restricted to nothing anymore... Narrowly , i avoid being pathethic enough to burden everyone around me.. Why do things always go so wrong around me? I DO TRY but things just went wrong.. just like that...

Everyone have their own life now... my phone had not been ringing after the incident... For them it's my fault , for me... we're equal... So ya , i dun wanna crap anymore... I have TONS of books behind me then i need to get keeping and jot down... and also i'm selling this particular novel which i accidently bought extra..
P.S I Love You / If You Could See Me Now By Cecelia Ahern (2 In 1 Series).. just drop me a comment or contact me via msn if you're interested...

I'm back to my housekeeping now... Where nothing's over me anymore...
Commitment... i'm trying to learn the true meaning of this word...
Ciao!

Luke 12:34
For where your treasure is , there also your heart will be

Walking Through Memory Lane...

Hmm.. Looks like I'm gonna start blogging now.. maybe not for long as my life was a deem boring one.. I mean real BORING... I prefer writing my own diary more to blogging... more privacy... :D
As for my life , I don't know i whether have to regard it as unlucky or what but looks like I'm born with it.. I've always like to keep things for myself.. On what I did or what I've done... No mere reason telling to anyone else... including my studies , financial status or whatever...
I just hope to have a better family... a more normal one...
My mum always want to know what's happening around on the other 'side' of my family because she knew i know it , staring me with her 'you-don't-have-to-tell-but-i'm-sure-would-like-to-know-what's-happening' kind of look in her eyes...
Okay starting with my recent doomed life... I just finished my SPM not long ago and went to work at Genting for some time waiting for results or maybe wasting my time... I wanted to be a croupier due to their high salary income.. ^^ but dumb me forgot to brought my results to the interview.. so i ended up working as a Casual Worker and later on as a Sales Assistant at GRGTOO... fond memories there... but maybe memories i don't wish to mention...

The GRGTOO's Army :D - Miss all of ya.. -

Genting brought me a lot of things i started to realise in my life... Knowing my desire , knowing my own way.. but it's really no use if there's no one to understand it.. No mere reason doing it alone , as it would only cause misunderstanding... aiks.. stop the crapping..
Working at genting brought me lots of experience , knowing friends... and knowing what's important in life... The ugly side of Genting is that I've lost my respect to the elders who I've always treat with respect and care... Usually when you are in a bus going up Genting, you can see their faces full of excitement and happiness; but when you took the bus going down Genting with them , I could hear them scolding all sort of foul languages that I've never hear before...
I've now planned to pursue for my diploma courses but due to financial status and preparations , I've to go and work again to fund myself... Will be starting my studies by January... LONG way to go... but i don't have a choice... Ya , i don't even deserve for a choice...
I've always regard myself as such a scum , useless brat... Everyone said that i could study but i've wasted that talent just like that... "It's Never Too Late To Regret"... DUMB.. I forgot who told me this... but it's really meaningless for me anymore... no offense though :p
Ya I know you guys are getting bored now so here's a little profile of me in the dictionary :

Lo - bak (Lor - baak) k., kies.
1 a.Loser.One who fails to win. At anything. Ever. b.One who sucks in quality; an inferior member of the human species : Lobak is real rubbish. 2. A person regarded as stupid , inept , ridiculous , and/or butt-ugly. 3. One who occupies the lowest possible rung on the food chain. 4. a. A person deserving of scorn and ridicule. b."Lowlier than thou." 5. Geek. 6. Dweeb. 7. Schlemiel. 8. Nerd. 9. Jerk. 10. Freak. ( From the Greek murphosis , the process of forming or assuming the shape of a moron ; from murphoun , to behave like a moron : from the Latin robinus murphatus; from murphus , murpha , moron. See MORON.)

Stop growing older become something I wanted desperately to accomplish rather than merely a dreaded inevitability. I should have taken drugs , should have drunk more , should have travelled more , should have jumped out of aeroplanes while waxing my legs... Regret for the things that I've never made time to do and sorrow for the loss of future experiences...
All that was left was a bundle of memories , and an image of her face that became more and more vague each day... I'm sorry to hurt you...

Oops.. Kinda out of topic pulak... I'm looking forward to see what i could accomplish in my life , my lowly dreaded life ... as u can see , i criticise myself a lot , but don't worry , it's nothing.. :D
I've a dream by now which is to getting myself FATTER , i'm darn thin and i couldn't bare it anymore..!!! ARKS... I need advices from my si jie.... SIWING , ROSE , ETONG... jiu jiu wo ah....
Hahas.. Going for snacks shopping and ipoh tomorrow for some BOOKS sweeping ceremony...
Going to bed now.. Bye Yae Yae... Hope my first blog post wouldn't be in a mess though...