The Day It Ended...

Another tough year has ended.. vivid changes have entirely taken over.. and I'm all start to a better way now... I'll summarize my experiences since i was rushing and packing my things for my later trip to Singapore by midnight... wee hee... Been to various places.... Genting , K.L and etc... I was like trapped under a working environment... but I learned that i was starting to learn and experience more... Such long and fresh feeling and emotions was very hard to be express by just typing like that... So i guess i just share one or a two of some of my experiences here...

Had just finish my 3rd course recently.. Principle of Marketing... studying and working at the same time was not easy.. but i'll will just have to bare at it... considering that i will be taking two courses at a time by next year was starting to haunt me...
Got a Distinction in my 1st paper... Not bad since I was always studying at the very last minute.. =D

One of the most sad experiences that i had was having to witness different kind of family environments... Everyone have different kind of family , different way and different condition... But you were born with it.. And you have no choice but to follow what it has to be...
I met a lot of parents over the past month... Hearing lots of comment... And of the most heart-broken is some parents could not afford their children for third party educations such as tuitions due to financial status although their child was dying and was so excited to keep on learning and studying... It shows that even you wanted that thing so badly... But things just don't go right...
I felt sad for the student but what I could do was just pray for her... Hoping for a better tomorrow...

I will have to end this here... Will continue if I have any time.. IF...

We are living , unable to forget the memories of Eden...
I felt like something's going to happen...
Every day I feel that way..
Yeah , life's noisy....
Blowing the wind in the opposite way...

Joshua

Home...

After almost a month of another chapter of my life... i finally settle down myself just to write this... My life had already changed entirely within just a few months.. and I'm all to myself now.. all to myself to experience.. to learn... without support.. without companions...

I started to hate growing up... It totally controls what you think and you have to start planning what to do in the future already... no choice but to myself...
Looks like i havent write for almost a month... have to start back from there...
Have been busy preparing for my 1st diploma exam on 18th sept... well... easy one for me...
I'm bad at maths and know nothing about accounts... but looks like i can manage well...
Not much to write since i was busy working and preparing for this and that...
I do go out for tea breaks on friday nights with my friends though...
Oh gosh! speaking of that.. totally forget about my assignments.. DIE DIE DIE...

I don't really remember how many times i went to KL to and fro... and also Johor... but looks like i kinda get use with all these travelling...
The feeling that i really get was when i reach Kampar on every trip out to somewhere else... It gives me the feeling of just being..... HOME...
I do miss home... And even i have time to go home.. i was just about on hours... not days...
I'm now commited more to work and studies... My mum would totally understand why i will not be at home for long time... Oh.. of course she would... do you know how much she saved without me being at home? LOL...

Okay , so i went to KL on 11th if i was not wrong for Tutorials... get well with some teachers there... Exams on 18th... and the not to forget - hiking trip at Gunung Lambak , Johor on the recent 29th...
One of the much interesting trips in my life... imagine climbing the mount with several hundreds of teachers all over Malaysia... ever heard of traffic jam during hiking?
Went back to inn after the trip and prepare for the ball night... Hundreds of us wore green and it was so much fun... Oh yeah.. Kampar won one of the Most Improved Award... Weehee... although i do not contribute much... =. =
It was my first trip to a function organized by my company.. and i was totally overwhelmed... Meet a lot... Knew a lot...

Life was short.. You won't know what will totally happen next...
Live it up... I'm teaching now and I'm all to my own now...
Should i aim for my coat 1st or handphone? Still blur..
Going to end my summary of the month... I'm happy with what I have now.. I'm more independent then everyone else... Try me if you want to...
I don't know but... I already have what I need... What am i still hesitating? What am i still lacking?

我还有一个很远的路要走....
很多步要去....
但是我能吗？我能度过一切吗？
我不懂....
我只能抱着希望一直的跑下去...
直到永远的永远....

Have I changed that much?

Irregularity...

After missing from home for almost a week , time was back to normal life...
Spend the end of the month which would be my holidays... at Muar and Malacca...
Had fun with my teachers and lean to learn more and acknowledge more...
I realise that age was no longer a matter between us but experience... I don't really care about anything anyway anymore... Just get on my studies and my work will do... Everything will do...
I know their my superior but i respected them as much as... But do they feel the same or am i just thinking too much?

Took a whole day off due to fever... Eat something wrong and have me stomachache for the WHOLE night... STUPID MILK!!! Fever and headache follows on... I thought... H1n1!!! I don't really care... Kena mei kena lor...
What really troubles me is... my assignments and courseworks were all left UNTOUCHED...
OMGOSH... 20th is the deadline and i've not yet even started... Looks like it's a BYE BYE for me...

Relationships between starts to get on... Things doesn't always go the way u want...
It seems that you have to get it yourself... Acknowledge it yourself...
I care less about love anymore... A friend of mines got heartbroken due to this... And when i don't really need it... It seems heading straight towards me...
Life was about going on and on... Heading forward and forward... Ditching your past...
What i need was just a smile... What had past had already past...
No point thinking and grieving back... Move on...
Just understand what's necessary and there will be no regrets...

A farewell to myself cause i will be leaving home again for a week or two... And farewell to Ah Dan , and Bee Jin... Great to meet you again... But everyone have their own path and life...
Best wishes to you two!!! No matter how many years yet tears... we're still friends... =)

Writing This In A Short Phase Of Time - Need to go for work liao....

To Yvonne - 1 word i could only say.... (Smile) =D
To SiWing - Eh drop a PM...!
To AhDan - Farewell , BUDDY!
To Myself - All of your problems are settled... Why are you still hesitating?


The ecstasies above
Thy grief , thy joy , thy hate , thy love,
With the fervour of thy lute...

Life Onwards...

I started my diploma studies finally on this very day... I learned a lot.. Knew a lot... Urges a lot...
My first course was Basic Accounting... It was the fourth course for Business Admin but i miss out 3 classes so i have to cover them back on my next year... The first thing in my mind when i get the notes were.. OMG.... I knew NOTHING about accounts... But after the lecture , and not to mention our nice and great lecturer , Mr.Douglas... Basic accounting can be easy even for those students without the any background of accounts...
It's basic after all... Not like SPM... Cost accounting... This... That... so i'm quite okay with it because i can manage with it well...

After socialising from the teachers from all parts of Malaysia , i really could learned a lot from them... although we are from the same level... but we can exchange our thoughts and improve each other more... we also referred to some superior and happy that we can learn something from them... The day was half ended after finishing the course and collecting our coursework... we bid others farewell...

And so... we hop on and went straight to... KLCC!!!!
We have a short meal there and quickly went straight to the Book Festival 2009!!!
It's already quite late so we have to rush things out...
The place was DAM DAM DAM large... 5 big halls... You can never walk the whole place in one day... i gone crazy when i entered and saw the BIG discount boards and advertisements all around... it was really quite a first in my life...
Bought around 13 books consist of novels and self improvement books...

And reached home around 12...
It was a tiring day and so you can see what i wrote was simply straightforward and simple and FAST...
One of the best day of my life... Getting new friends , new environment , new knowledge , new studies ,new ME... =D Good nights...

- We all are make for success -
- Never condition ourselves for failure -

No More Regrets...

I can't be bothered anymore... Facing a variety of problems... Done by myself probably...
I always try to seek for help or.. advices from the teacher... But they could only give me perceptions or teaches me how to solve it... By then , i decide to do it by myself just for this time... just a trust for myself.. or let things be what it will be...
Insurance... Within that large sum of money , i could understand why adults nowadays would totally argue in that matter... directly blaming the non-guilty - ME...
I was directly involved in the matter... They buy me the insurance and they blame me for everything when the money goes all to ME...
Concerning the comments , everyone stated that it was a waste...
But for me , things will changed... I will be starting my studies...
And everything's will be better...

I get myself along... Try to smile and laugh even though the inner me was heavily in doubts.. and thoughts due to unexperience.... I am still learning.. Learning to be a better self... A better ME...
Work was getting not in the way... I even got a complain which for me is a total misunderstanding... Well... At least i learnt something... =)
Socialising with the parents are a part of a point for me now , but i think i can manage it after today... I need to collaborate with them , and i aim to create a strict image of ME in front of the students... Jokes and others will be assuming after or out of work...

Rushing for my passport and other stuffs due to busy working for the past weeks...
And the most important... the large sum of money which really cant be bothered and the cause of arguements and gossips and this and that have to be SETTLED...
Or else , more nagging from my mum...

Feeling moody after rejecting to join them to trips out to Johor or Ipoh for a few times...
In loneliness.. i told myself... i need to have reassure myself... i don't want them to worried about me... About the stress i received upon...
Ms.Huey... Really can't hide anything from her...
Be tough... After this... I mean after ALL this.. I will be FREE... Free upon all worries in my mind... Concentrating in my work and studies now... As i am not that satisfied in what i've did so far...

Friends... are really unpredictable... I will never betray one... I will never want to lose one... I will never want to anger one... But.. what would they think?
Results in what they think about you... You can do nothing...
Because of love... everything would changed for them...
Was trust and promises really that hard to be done?


Thank You For The Memories...
The Day You Leave...
I Don't Even Understand Why...
Till I Found A Path You Lead Me...
I've Finally Know After All...
I Will Still Remember The Day...
Where Our Promise Lies...

失去她的踪影
我也失去魂魄
我好想好想握着她的手
直到永远的永远...

- Edited On 16th Aug (Sun) - Credits : Kenneth
I've Finally Found The Truth That You Leave...
With No Regrets...

Remaining Open To Love...

There are times when we long to be able to help someone whom we love very much , but we can do nothing... Circumstances will not allow us to approach them , or the person is closed off to any gesture of solidarity and support...
All we are left with is love...
Why even bother loving when we don't even know what it really is? Why even bother when we don't even know how to love? Why even bother when we can't even sacrifice a bit to love?
And why even bother to love when we can't accept it when they leaves us?
I'm trying to dedicate this to a particular friend after viewing her blog... You have to accept it when it's all over... You have to look towards on what you have to do next.. but not grieving and blaming yourself for everything.. If he can leave you just like this for the first time , he will repeat it even if you get him back... No matter how close , how much words you had said , no matter what promise you have made , no matter what you've done... Over means over... Get along... Nothing to blame , nothing to lose... Just a little drop of tear will signifies the ending of our relationship... all we've done together...

After getting a few days off and finally some time spending with my family , I'm all back to my work... Get to know the kids more... their attitude... their PATTERN...
Guess what , a student SHIT in the class today , but end up... we COULDNT catch the culprit!
And not to forget the ACCIDENT... ROFL , sorry Jia Wen , I don't really mean it by telling everyone around about it...
I was always laughing all along... I finally get some laugh since last week... Trying to cheer up myself to an extend... As why living in sadness , moodiness as life will still go on as it seems?
Went to ipoh last Sat with my friends after succeeding to PERSUADE clone to drive... HAHA... End up me and clone keep go and find some BOOKS BOOKS and BOOKS until ah dan also fed up ady.. LOL... we try to catch a movie but chan kiew said she need to get home earlier.. Oh well... so we get on our meal and some books sweeping and left earlier... (GOT OFF LEH!)
I managed to get this particular book at the very last minute -
Like The Flowing River by Paulo Coelho...
A very meaningful book contain short stories teaching us on our way of life... and my favourite part... Making Decisions...
I also found Septimus Heap Physiks at last... =)
Went along back on teaching on Monday and i was often occupied for the day till i have no time for other things... Ms.Huey gave me lots of advices... lots of perceptions... lots of views she had experienced before... I know that i still have lots to learn , lots to improved... But could i really ditched out everything? Just for myself? Just for a BETTER self?
Everything might changed after this , but i know everything will not change if i don't take the step first... I have to make that STEP...
On my way till my next aim... I will climb and reach it with a smile... I need that more than anything... A Smile... =)

To Do List This Week O.O"
- Passport ! Passport! To SG Soon!!
- Driving License! Have To Drive Soon!!
- Test! Test! Test! Add Oil Add Oil!!!
- Learn more CHINESE... (Oh , this was not only for this week.. =. =)
- Prepare Tournament Forms... (Sighed...)
- Shopping Spree... Books , Novels, Stationaries... Items instructed to buy....
- Eat! Eat! Eat! Fat! Fat! Fat! ( Supper Everynight! Weehee!!!)
- Save up!!! Book Fair This End Of Month... OMGosh!
- Get a book rack...
- Students Recruiting...

Argh , totally emptied my mind...
I just anyhow wrote this late at night... Too sleepy too... YAWNY?
Hope ya guys having a pretty GOOD.. i mean NICE or HAPPY life there.. =)
I may be a weirdo for you but i'm still a friend to you... I've already accept everything... No more worries in my life...

Remember , clouds , like the river , are water ,
So , gladly reflect them too ,
In your own tranquil depths...

反正笑也是过一天 , 哭也是过一天 ,
为什么不要笑着过生活呢?

永远的回忆...

我现在走着这条路...可能会很难走...但是我能做到的只是一直努力下去...
我只能让我的过去来度过一切...可能一切已经过去了...但是我没有忘记过我们所有的一切...
我再看到她的那一天...我终于放的下了...
看到好好过的她...我差点哭出来了...
我真的很害怕她会在受到伤害...后悔的我只能在她后面的看着她...

担是全部已经是过去了...我们已经开始向我们的方向去走...
虽然...她不当我是朋友...都没关系...应为她还记得我们的答应...
我知道我们是没有结果...但是我只想给你一个我们最后的回忆...一个永远的回忆...

爱是不需要理由...
懂得珍惜就能够拥有...

当我在雨中等你的那几天..... 我开始了解..... 我在她心里的地位。雨把我为你的泪一起带走。
每一秒，每分钟..... 是那么的心苦。一天，两天..... 三天。连老天也陪伴我流泪了三天。
两年了..... 为了第一个女人掉的眼泪，真的不好受。愿来眼泪是这样的味道。
如果能讓我重新再來一次，我希望我不會出現在你生命裡...